In this life I’ve been rewarded with the greatest of gifts and the lowest of disappointments. In life, relationships, business, finances and education. I’ve ridden the rollercoaster of existence from wavelength to wavelength.
There have been times I’ve been so high on life I couldn’t help but smile ear to ear as I coasted alone through winding Connecticut roads or along the crystal clear ocean of Fort Lauderdale beach. I’ve screamed in excitement to myself alone in my car after some great business deals and also cried alone in that same car while gazing at the clouds asking the universe why this had to happen.
I’ve been up and down, but overall I’ve lived a very rewarding, gifted and amazing life. I feel blessed every day for my loving family, my closest friends, the outrageously sticky situations I’ve escaped and the beautiful ones I’ve found myself in. As time progresses I find myself learning faster than ever, understanding this world with greater clarity with each passing day. Time moves slower but life moves quicker as the evolution of my mind seems to even surpass my capabilities at times. As I ran down the beach barefooted just moments ago I couldn’t help but to remind myself how lucky I’ve been. How much gift and opportunity the world has presented me.
And even in the darkest hours I’ve found peace and understanding through my greatest challenges and disappointments. Each and every day I think about my brother; what he would say, how he would approach a situation and how he could explain me into happiness by simply pointing out how over-complicated my thinking was. He was a genius, and to him I feel forever indebted. At times when we were young he seemed to be my greatest enemy, but as soon as something jeopardized my safety or happiness he would swoop in and save the day.
His mind ran wild and free and his viewpoints on existence will stick to my soul for eternity. I refuse to believe he is gone but instead he has occupied my mind and guided me through the past few years with smooth and unnoticed valor.
As my eyes become clouded with tears its harder and harder to see the screen. I wish I could tell him how much he means to me but somehow I know he’s reading this as I write it. He’s guiding the quiet taps of my fingertips as the cool ocean breeze sends freshness through my veins.
This is a complex life but simple indeed. We complicate things on our own, he was always there to show me how basic things were. “Look around” he would say, “don’t listen to what everyone tells you. If it were that easy to see then everyone would get it.”